Terror at the Steak House
by Ice Wings of Paradise
Summary: A crazy, yet hilarious story. What If I took Eragon, Arya, Murtagh, Roran, Emmline to famous resturants? Everyone goes wild. Chapter 6: The Beach part 2, is out! R&R asl always!
1. Chapter 1: Lone Star!

Fathom here! I had this crazy idea that what if Eragon, Arya, Roran, Emmeline, Murtagh and I went to a steakhouse! Some event actually happened, which was hilarious when we were there. But I'll tell you which one actually happened at the end.

_**Finding a table**_

"Hi, welcome to Lone Star Steakhouse. What would you like?" Said a girl in a denim shirt which said Lone Star.

Lone Star Steakhouse. Yes, that one.

I look behind me and saw our little troupe. We consisted of Eragon, Arya, Roran, Emmeline, Murtagh and I. I turned about to the girl.

"Booking for Paolini, please." I said.

The girl smiled, and said to us to follow her. We followed like a herd of sheep.

"Well, this is…nice," Emmeline said. We managed to squeeze into one single booth, with me, Roran and Arya on one side, Emmeline, Eragon and Murtagh on the other. Emmeline was smiling and saying "Hi" a lot to Eragon, who didn't mind a bit. Arya was glaring daggers at Emmeline, and I said to her with our magical link, _Ooh! Someone's jealous!_

_Tell me something I don't know, _she replied.

_I opened-kissed a horse before._

_Say WHAT?_

_That's something you don't know._

_**Ordering our entrees/drinks**_

After a few minutes of labored breathing, a waitress walked up. She looked surprised to find 6 people in one booth, but she handed us extra utensils and a menu each. She walked away in a hurry, as if she didn't want anyone to see she was serving us. We looked at our menus.

"Cheese fries! YES!" I screamed, and got lots of looks.

"Is there anything that isn't meat?" Eragon asked.

"It's a steak ranch. STEAK." Replied Emmeline.

"I'm going without!" said Arya.

"I want heaps of ribs!" Murtagh said.

"I'll have the same as Fathom," said Roran. I snuggled up to him. Ok, I like him. You have to with that hammer…

A waiter walked over. He had his shirt buttoned open a bit.

"I'll be ordering your drinks. What would you like?"

A sudden rush of words assaulted the poor waiter. I tried yelling to take it in turns, but that didn't work. So I muttered a spell, and said in a loud voice, "BE QUIET!"

More looks. We were getting more attention than I would like. I took the spell off.

"Ok. We'll take it on order. Me, 1, Roran, 2, Arya, 6," scowl form her." Emmeline, 3, Eragon, 4, Murtagh, 5. Ok. I'll have a Coke Zero."

"I'll have a VB beer," Roran said.

"Do you want it in a stubbie, or a full glass?" said the waiter.

"Stubbie please."

"I will have a Coke!" exclaimed Emmeline. More looks.

"I will have some milk please," Eragon said.

"WUSS!" said some idiot somewhere.

"I'M ONTO YOU!" shouted Emmeline.

"Bite my steak!"

"THAT'S IT!" Emmeline screamed, and started to climb out of the booth. Luckily Eragon knew a calming spell in the form of a lullaby, and starting singing it to her. Emmeline was soon half asleep, mumbling the words.

"She will have a Coke," Eragon said for her.

"I will have some steak juice!" said Murtagh. A weird look from the waiter.

"And I will have an Orange Juice," said Arya.

"Ok! I'll get you your drinks. Call me if you want to order your entrées," the waiter said.

He fled form the scene.

After 10 minutes, we finally got our drinks. We practically sucked them down in 10 seconds, especially Murtagh.

"Good steak juice! Yes!" he would say every minute.

When the last ice cube was eaten, a waitress came up to our booth.

"Have you decided on what you will have for entrees?" She asked.

"Yes. We will have 6 cheese fries!" I said. Weird look.

"Oooookay," the waitress said. "I'll go and get them.

And she, you guessed it, fled form the scene.

_**The Cheese Fries Strike Back.**_

"Where are our cheese fries?!" I yelled. We've been waiting for 10 minutes, but the cheese fries are driving me insane.

"The moose…it's staring at me," said Arya. There was a huge moose head near our booth, staring at Arya.

I stared at the Arizona scene. On a rock, I noticed a frilled neck lizard he was saying, _what? This isn't Sydney!_

Then, out of thin air came Durza.

Eragon made a move for Zar'roc. I made a move for my magic staff, which had a huge red orb in the end can shrink to the size of a matchstick.

"Hey, wait! I got your cheese fries." Said the Shade. Indeed, he was balancing 6 plates of hot cheese fries. He put one plate in front of each of us.

After eating 5 whole cheese fries, I remembered to breathe.

When I swallowed, Eragon said, why are you here?"

"Community service." Indeed (starting to be my favourite word), he was wearing a Lone Star uniform and a chain on his ankle.

I grabbed another cheese fries when-

"EEW! NOSE RING!"

I'll continue with another chapter. Tell me what you think of this crazy story, and should I keep it? Or bin it?

Flamers, do what you must.


	2. Chapter 2: Still Lone Star!

Fathom here! I really like this story, so I'll add another chappie right now. Go down. Read. Send me a cupcake and a nice review.

_Where we last left..._

"EEW! NOSERING!" I screamed, and pulled up a cheese fry (God bless them) with a sleeper in it. Snot decided to live on my cheese fry and had already packed.

"Oh, sorry!" Durza said, and grabbed it. I heard him mutter, "That's where it was," and put it in his pocket.

"I want a refund! Or at least another plate of cheese fries!" I screamed at the Shade. I grabbed my matchstick-staff and pulled it out to full size. I was an insane girl with a staff and a lust for cheese fries.

"Okay! Here's another plate!" Durza said. He used his magic to make another plate of cheese fries. I calmed down. I shrank my staff to matchstick size. I stroked at it, muttering curses and giving Durza the Evil Eye.

_**Mains are not a-coming!**_

5 minutes later, we licked our plates and grumbled for more food. I used in my loudest sing-song voice;

"O WAITER!"

Durza came running.

"Yes Fathom?"

"We want our mains!" I said.

"Bowler hated llamas," said Emmeline, but soon woke up and started crying. Eragon comforted her.

"Oooookay, what would you like?" Durza asked.

"STEAK!" Screamed Murtagh.

"More cheese fries!" I screamed.

"Salad!" said Eragon and Arya.

"My bowler hat!" screamed Emmeline.

"McDonalds!" screamed Roran.

Then, the manager came up.

"What's goin' on here, Durza?" he said.

"I'm trying to tell them to leave, but-"  
"GIRL BASHER!" I screamed. "WE'RE LEAVING!"

"YEAH!" screamed Emmeline. We steeped out of the booth. A suction noise suddenly sounded, and the booth collapsed. We all left in a huff, with Arya last.

_**Arya has a little fall**_

We were really annoyed. We all went down the shallow and wide steps. Suddenly, when Arya was on the last step, she fell over an invisible force. WUMP! She was on the floor.

I burst out in hysterics. Everyone laughed. Even Durza had a little giggle, and then went into hysterics. He was laughing so hard, he forgot to charge us. Arya got up, muttering curses, and everyone laughed even more. We all staggered out the door and went loose in Westfield, Tuggerah.

_1_

Sorry it's short! Ok, when Arya fell over, that DID happen. Everything else was a lie.

Flamers, do what you must.


	3. Chapter 3: KFC!

Fathom here! I decided that this time, the Eragon gang to go the chicken place we all know so well, KFC. This little doozy of a chapter might not be as funny, but I'll try my best.

Also, in this I drive a Hummer, but in real life I don't own a Hummer or even have a license. I'm too young.

* * *

_**The Too Small Carpark.**_

"I can't find a space!" I yelled, doing laps in the carpark with my Hummer that's chocker block full of people. The tiny carpark was filled to the brim, and I can't find any other place to park a mini truck.

"There's one!" Roran cried, pointing to a space. But on the other side, a sleek Ferrari was there, daring me to take it. I gritted my teeth. Sure, I always wanted a Ferrari, but I really want to deep fried chicken, and this car was holding me back. I revved. VROOOM! Te Ferrari revved. VROOOM! Just what I wanted. While the Ferrari was distracted I peeled into the spot, winning first prize.

"WOO!" yelled everyone in the Hummer. The Ferrari just slinked off and parked in a spot closer to the door, damnit.

We got out. I grabbed my clipboard.

"Eragon, check. Emmeline, check. Me, check. Roran, check. Arya barf check. Murtagh, check. Hobo?" I questioned, and looked at the hobo who was freaked out my having Arya sleeping happily on his chest. He looked at me with sad eyes. I sighed.

"You can come too. Arya is too busy sleeping, so she won't get any CHOCOLATE!" With chocolate, Arya woke up, eyes darting nervously. Yes, we have found her weak spot.

_**You don't make friends with Salad.**_

We waltzed into the fast food joint. It was pretty packed, considering it was a Sunday. A whole family was there, just finishing off. I smiled evilly and stroked my match stick staff. I always lugged it around with me. We went over to the largest bench. We chose the thing with one side as a booth, the other side as a few swivel chairs. We sat down in pairs. Mine was Roran, Emmeline's was Eragon, Arya's one was Murtagh. Poor Murtagh. The hobo got freaked out and ran away, muttering something about drinking acid.

We sat down and waited for a waiter. Then I remembered. This wasn't Lone star! We had to ORDER at the counter! I stepped up from my swivel chair. But I couldn't get out. Somehow, magically, it moved in, trapping me! I saw Emmeline and Eragon snickering at me. I pulled out my matchstick staff to full length. I muttered a spell. It went shooting sideways, hitting Emmeline and Eragon on the shins. They screamed out,

"FUDGE BROWNIES! This time I snickered. I kept my staff full length, which was kinda hard with the orb just cm below the roof. I walked to the counter.

"Hi, welcome to KFC, what would you like?" said the counter girl with the plastic smile. I knew one from anywhere. I had to use one in a drama play last year.

"Um, yes. I would like a 3 piece feed, Roran would like also a 3 piece feed, Emmeline, will have a medium popcorn chicken meal, Murtagh would like a Family Feed, and Arya and Eragon will have a salad." I answered.

"Um, we don't have salad."

I said to Emmeline through our magical link, _they don't have salad! Ask what Eragon and Arya want!_

_Ok!_

I smiled at the counter girl. "One moment please," and ran back to the table.

* * *

Ok! I'll continue a bit tomorrow. Tell me what you think! What's another place they can go? Tell me by pressing the button that I covet so. 


	4. Chapter 4: KFC, CONTINUED!

**Fathom here…AGAIN! I am just sooo into this story so I just wanna keep on writing! I dedicate this to my lovely red cape, which is the loveliest cape EVER! M'kay, here's the story…**

**Oh, and Emmeline is Jack Skellington's Mistress, which has also appeared in my To Peeve that Ugerly Elf off story, and I have appeared in her GOD ARYA IS SUCH A SUCKY LITTLE WET THING.**

**Ok. Onto the story…**

_Where we were last…_

_Hey, they don't have salad!_

"One moment please," I said to the counter lady, and ran back to our booth thing. Arya was having a break-down, and Eragon was rubbing his arms, his eyes darting nervously. Murtagh looks like he's going to go cannibalistic, which would be quite sad for all the Murtagh-Obsession girls out there. Roran was waiting patiently, Emmeline was trying to get her shin to stop hurting, and I was clutching my red cape with silver moons and stars.

"What are we gonna do?" wailed Arya.

"We're going to Maccas, what's what were gonna do!" I replied. "Back in the Hummer!"

We marched out, and went to the carpark. But, where our car used to be, was an empty space. The Hummer was stolen!

_**Dude, Where's our Hummer?**_

I cried. My brand-new Hummer, which I have applied my Triple J (a really cool radio station), was stolen! I sat down and started to have a fit.

"My Hummer! (Sob) It has my (sniff) Ok-Go CD in it! (Wail)" Roran comforted me. I looked out onto the highway. I saw some jerks laughing their heads off in a big black Hummer with a Triple J sticker.

Wait.

THAT'S MY HUMMER!

I made a silent prayer of thanks to the Folloffel llama, and yelled to the gang,

"LOOK! THE HUMMER! THE FERRARI GUYS HAVE IT!" And indeed they have. I said some words which I shall not utter here, and glanced at the discarded Ferrari. Then, it dawned on me.

I jumped up and down like a cappuccino jelly bean and went to the Ferrari. I hugged it. I've always wanted a Ferrari. When the gang finally saw me, they cheered like mad. Unfortunately, it was too small to fit all of us, so I had to pick one person to come in it with me. Hmmm.

"Emmeline?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever wanted to go in a Ferrari?"

"All the fricken time!"

"Well, today is your lucky day!"

"WOOOO!" We clambered into the Ferrari.

"Hey, what about us?" Eragon said.

"Well, girls have smaller bodies and we run out of energy easier so, you can walk!" Emmeline replied.

"But I'm a girl!" Arya cried out.

"Well, there are four reasons why you're not allowed:

1. Because you're an elf and are stronger.

2. You're basically classified as a man.

3. The Ferrari has no space, unless you're willing to hop in the boot.

4. BECAUSE I SAID SO!" I yelled.

Arya looked downcast, and trudged along.

"Cheer up! It's only 5km!" I said cheerfully. Emmeline and I peeled out of the carpark, whooping like mad idiots. When we looked back, it looked like they were in the video clip for "Boulevard of Broken Dream" by Green Day. I swore that I could hear Murtagh singing.

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Thank you for reading this story! I had a real blast writing this, so please R&R!

Also, thank you Emmeline, for actually realizing you're in this story around chapter 3!

Am now expecting reviews saying it's too short… I KNOW! I just want to finish this and get another story out on this! Also, the 2nd thing tends to be shorter. Don't worry, it's just me being lazy.


	5. Chapter 5: I'm Baack! The Beach!

Fathom here again! Sorry I haven't been here the past weeks…. I was on holiday and a bit lazy…. But now I shall bring you the next in a series of stories… the beach!

Yes, it's not a restaurant, but I was at Jarvis Bay, and I'll make a story of that later

Count how many times I type poser hippies and you shall receive a cookie!

On with the story!

Oh, and all the Poser Hippies sayings are dedicated to Emmeline.

"_**Dude! You like, duded our dude boards!!"**_

"We're here!" I cried, as we pulled into the carpark. Since the last adventure, we had a Ferrari but sold it (breaking my heart) and bought a new Hummer. It was exactly like the first one, but with an "Eragon Fan On Board" sticker on it which seemed unfair for Eragon because he, the main character, was on board. And knowing any poser hippies who steal black Hummers, driving one with the sticker like that equals a demotion in the Mafia.

The whole car cheered. We were dressed in swimmers. I was in a halter neck with board shorts, Emmeline was in a blue bikini, Eragon was in a pair of board shorts, and Murtagh was in black boardies, Roran with boardies and a rashie, and Arya in a skimpy black bikini that looks suspiciously like the one Rihanna the singer has. Emmeline and I were glaring at her muttering insults like rude words that I shall dare not write here.

We cruised around, looking for a spot, when we saw one. No one had ever thought of it. It was actually the beach. But the only problem was that there were some coughcoughslutscoughcough in the way, so I just beeped my horn. AWOOGA! went the horn and scared the girls off. But then, some weird - surfer - dudes - that - worship - their - boards - and - even - have - a - photo - of – it - that – they - kiss - goodnight - to stepped in.

"Poser hippies!" Emmeline screeched at them.

"Whoa dude, did she, like, yell at us, like, dude?" one of them said. I honked the horn.

"Man, that was, like, a loud horn, dude!" Another yelled.

"One moment," I mumbled, and stepped out of the Hummer. I walked up. Suddenly, my vision went old western style. Then, I did the Hokey Pokey.

"You put your left foot IN! You put your left foot OUT!" I sang. The disgruntled surfer dudes (god I'm starting to sound like one of them) ran away, crying to their boards.

As I clambered into the car, Eragon said, "Good thinking to dance the most horrible way ever!"

"But I was actually dancing…" I mumbled, feeling the tears prick my eyes.

_**We get attention**_

With the surfer guys gone, we cruised onto the beach. Everyone scattered like they were being hit by a bowling ball as I looked down and tried to find a good spot. Wheel tracks were being left as I cursed how small this beach was. After 10 minutes and almost hitting a small child in the water, we found a reasonable spot. We hopped out, cheering. Everyone looked at us with freakish looks on their faces. We just ignored the poser hippies.

The spot was a good distance away from the water. We dragged our matching towels out and applied some sunscreen. Unfortunately form Arya, we used up all the sunscreen so she's gonna go home with a suntan. We plunged into the surf and started swimming. ((Here's a bit that I thought up in Jarvis Bay))

Arya was playing in the surf, splashing about, and all the guys were there, cheering her on. One wolf whistled. Arya looked from side to side, trying to find the wolf.

Eragon was surfing prettily goodly, since he's never seen, let alone been in, the sea. All the blondes sighed, but were chased off by Emmeline with a spun up towel, flicking at the lazy girl. She came back mumbling, "Would Eragon mind if I write on his back "taken" with my Sharpie?" I nodded, and stroked my Sharpie.

Murtagh was building a scale size Thorn, and all the emo girls at the beach secretly eyeing him. If they saw him at Lone Star…

Roran, finally, was standing next to me, arm on my shoulder. He kept on trying to pash me, but I put my finger on his lip, and said "Lip gloss!"

Arya came back, as tanned as a rotting banana. She hissed at us like a Peruvian hissing tree-llama, which Emmeline's friend Lizzie had been fortunate to see in her brief venture to India.

For some strange reason, I pulled out a top hat and a walking cane, and started to tap dance, which was quite hard to do on sand. Everyone started to cone over to me ad cheered me on. I took my hat off, holey thing first, and everyone put monopoly money in, damn poser hippies. I just screamed at them swear words in every language I knew, most made up.

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Thank you for reading! Also, find 2 quotes from other stories! (Not including poser hippies) Also, the answers will be found at the end of the next chappie.

Also, I reeeeally pushed myself on this one, so be a little bit nice. Please.


	6. Chapter 6: Beach, continued!

Fathom here! This is the longest story I have EVER written, and I am aiming to continue! So, on that happy note, I give you the 2nd chappie of the beach!

This MIGHT have a bit of coarse language. I'll change the rating.

Oh, and this was written out, and it's 5 pages long, so it might be longer.

_**Water bombs**_

The gang and I were playfully splashing each other in the water. No one was regretting MY idea (actually, it was Arya's, but no one ever listens to her, so I said it. Evil, eh?). It was Boy vs. Girl water fight. We, sadly, HAD to have Arya on our team, so we were losing BADLY.

Personally, it would've been better if it was just me and Emmeline, and we would've kicked ass, but noo. Suddenly, Emmeline had an idea! I knew because through our special link and that she said to me, "Get me a light bulb." I waded out of the water and ran to the car, getting a sand rash and took the light bulb off Arya's nightlight. Oh, and, before you ask, I was wearing gloves.

I ran back into the water and put it above Emmeline's head. And, sure enough, it lighted. We cheered and Arya cheered. We gave her a full blast death glare. If looks could kill, she would have a spasm. I threw the light bulb over my shoulder, which landed in the water and got smashed on some pre-historic, fossilized seaweed. It then cut the foot of a 7-year-old wearing floaties, which attracted a herd-pod thing of hammer-head sharks.

"What's your good idea?" I shouted over the boy's screams and wails. Emmeline looked at me strangely.

"What idea?"

I sighed. Emmeline had a habit for forgetting stuff.

"The light bulb one?"

Another strange look.

"THE IDEA! WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF?!!"

"Oh! THAT idea," Emmeline said. She put on a solemn face, which I couldn't refrain from laughing. Finally, she spoke.

"Elder Gudknecht."

"Um, you do realise that only in Corpse Bride."

"Oh yes. I just wanted to say that." The solemn face appeared again, masking her face like a Jack Skellington mask.

"Waterbombs."

I laughed evilly. Emmeline laughed evilly. Arya tried to laugh evilly, but it only came out as a titter. We just shot her another glare.

_**Boys are goin' down**_

The boys, Eragon, Murtagh and Roran, were guffawing (I love that word) at us girls, but were will be the ones soon guffawing at then. With my magical staff, which I picked us in the Hummer, I summoned a packet of pink balloons, a funnel and a waterproof bag which attached to the side of my swimmers, which I put my staff in.

We laughed. The boys know that if I and Emmeline were laughing evilly TOGETHER, they were in for it. With the funnel in the nozzle thing of a balloon, (we opened the packet) we held it underwater. We lifted it out when it was nice and heavy. We did this with all 20 balloons. I got 20, and Emmeline got 10. Arya didn't get any, because we figured she would probably drop them. In the end, she tried to copy us, but with no success. When it didn't work, she joined the boys.

_**Battle**_

_**This chapter thingy will be written in 3**__**rd**__** view, or is it 1**__**st**__** view? Oh well. Onto the story. **_

Fathom and Emmeline had 10 water balloons each. Eragon, Murtagh, Roan and Arya had one poorly filled water balloon between the 4 of them. They knew they were going down.

The fist to launch a balloon was Arya. She was scared and didn't like being scared. She tried vainly to hit Fathom, but only got a small splash. But, a drop of water hit Fathom's straight, jet black hair. Unfortunately, Fathom spent n hour everyday doing her hair, so she got really pissed off. She launched number 1 of her 0 balloons at the ugly elf.

**KERSPLOOOSH!!**

Arya sunk heavily to the water. (Un) fortunately, she was in the shallow end, so she didn't drown. If this was an Anime show, the embarrassed sweat drops will be showing on the boy's heads.

Emmeline threw one of her balloons at Eragon. Even if he wasn't her girlfriend, who he is, he still would have been hit. This was a battle of the sexes.

Anyway, the balloon erupted on Eragon's chest. KABOOM! He fell into the water.

Murtagh, anticipating a bomb from Fathom, was running around in the water, which wasn't very fast, mind you, Nevertheless, he got bombed. KABOOM. Night night, Murtagh.

The only boy left was Roran. He was still a bit depressed about breaking up with Katrina, but Fathom had looks, brains and a fierce hate for Arya, which was 3 times more than what Katrina had. And, because of the breakup, he wasn't avoiding the bombs fast enough. Fathom yelled, "Sorry!" and threw 3 bombs.

There was no way Roran could have escaped All 3 burst in rapid succession. He cried out in pain, and fell into the water, defeated.

_**Okay, I'll start writing normally now.**_

I and Emmeline cheered. Our plan completely worked. We WON!!!! YAAY!!!

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Okay. Just say that they all went home. Oh, and the poser hippy thing? I forgot how many times, and I'm too lazy to count.

My next idea is a Talent Quest, and I need a partner for Roran. I'm going with Emmeline, and Eragon's gong with Murtagh.

I expect lots of "Happy Birthday" PMs on Friday, coz that's my birthday. : Big smile:


End file.
